Advice I Keep Running Into →
First of all, let me start by sharing that this is my 3rd draft. They have all been magically deleted. All I wanted to do was share some eerie advice I keep running into. It’s advice from people of different backgrounds that ring true to all of us, but my last two drafts just disappeared. I turned around and they were gone. It could be a sign that the universe, government, or whoever owns the internet doesn’t want me to share this with you.
But I defer…
So, I have had some crazy-ass-out-of-this-world last couple of years in my life; [This is where I tell you but then realize I’m not ready to share that]… just trust me, they have been heavy. But in the last few months things seem to be turning around. My mood is better, I feel better, life is turning around... and looking back I’m seeing behavioural patterns we all share. Some of the things people from different backgrounds told me about us humans - were true!
Also, you must know I’m a self growth addict. I want to conquer it all; fear of public speaking, fear of rejection, fear of writing, fear of gaining weight, or just fear of being by myself. So I read and watch a lot of self growth books. This is also a fear of not being prepared for another curve ball life wants to throw at me. So when I hear the advice people tell me, usually older people, I try to see if it's true. Are they bullshitting me? Or do They know?
So I’ve gathered some advice that stand the test of time...
1. Know how to distinguish between what you believe and what you know.
Okay, I just heard this one today but goddamnit it’s true.
- Example: He was lying out his ass when he said “I’m just taking care of her dog because we’re friends” but you KNOW he’s lying and want to BELIEVE he’s not. Trust your know. You know what’s right for you.
- Trust your gut. You know this.
2. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
- Maya Angelou said this.
- Don’t get mad at someone for being who they have always been, especially if they told you so from the beginning.
This is Maya Angelou
You should know her, her books, her talks, just know...
3. All small lies turn into big lies
- My mom told me this growing up. She’s obviously a witch.
- But it’s better to deal with the small lies before they become these big lies that overrun your life.
4. Men never change
- Older married couples from Chile say this.
- "Because like people still stay together but are miserable because the keep wanting the other to change or still expect them to." - Raquel said this.
- Can we just stop lying to ourselves, that they will change, that these small habits are okay because in time they get better? No! It’s like the prior Maya Angelou quote, trust them when they tell you who they are. We can’t change them.
Raquel told me this.
But, damn, is she right?
5. Anger is a misplaced emotion
- Sunny Hostin from the View said this once.
- I think it speaks for itself.
This is Sunny.
She's an American lawyer, columnist, multi-platform journalist and a social commentator on The View.
6. Your thoughts and how you speak to yourself matter.
- You have the power to control how you see yourself. Even if it’s not easy :(
- You’re your biggest ally, and at times your only friend. Treat yourself the way you would with a kid. You wouldn't want to hurt a kid, I hope, why would you talk to yourself that way ?
7. Rituals give us peace.
- I’ve learned that over time we can create better habits for ourselves, or as I like to refer to them: rituals.
- Rituals like washing your face first thing in the morning, making coffee, these little rituals give us peace. They don’t have to have rhyme or reason, they just work for us.
8. There is no right or wrong. There is “what works” and “what doesn’t work”
- Universally there is no right or wrong, what’s better in one situation could be worst in another.
- If it doesn’t work for you, it’s probably not right for you.
9. Pain helps you grow.
- Yeah, this is true.
- I’m sorry.
- But time does heal all. Don’t let time simply allow you to forget.
- Or in the words of our mamis “ No seas pendeja, mi’ja”
11. When you take actions in life, you have consequences
- This is from Sara Haines, host of "The view"
- You know this is true. Even when you don't act.
and her bebes.
12. Above all, you are married to yourself.
- Raquel and I came up with this through whatsapp.
- "it’s like you can’t escape yourself. You are you. And you have to learn how to deal with you, know of you, so that whomever you choose to have in your life sees you."- Raquel said that.
- So take risks, live life, have fun, forgive yourself, get out of your comfort zone and find happiness.
Bonus Universal Advice:
- Forgive yourself. Take a nap. Try again later. It’s okay.